My One-Star Review of 'Oppenheimer'

I've seen enough.

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As a longtime fan of Christopher Nolan, I was looking forward to his latest blockbuster. Nolan has the ability to marry cinematic razzle dazzle with cerebral heft like no other filmmaker in his generation, and I was hoping Oppenheimer would be a stellar addition to his resume alongside works like The Dark Knight and Inception.

Now, after months of literally explosive hype, Oppenheimer is finally here and while I haven’t seen it yet, I’m disappointed. 

A rare miss for Mr. Nolan. 

Oppenheimer is set during World War II and follows the story of a brilliant scientist considered by many to be “the father of the atomic bomb” — the man who led a team of physicists and inventors to create the world’s deadliest weapon. If the idea of platforming a man like that makes you a little queasy, I’ve got bad news: According to Wikipedia, he’s literally the star of the movie.

Yep. J. Robert Oppenheimer. 

If a woman had invented the atomic bomb, do you think Hollywood would spend millions giving her a splashy, star-studded biopic? I think we all know the answer to that. 

Speaking of “star-studded,” Oppenheimer is played by Cillian Murphy in a cast that also includes Robert Downey Jr., Matt Damon, Emily Blunt and Florence Pugh. Apparently, Mr. Nolan didn’t think any actors of color deserved to be depicted as complicit in genocide. White supremacy much, sir? 

If I’d seen it, I wouldn’t have been able to believe it. 

Oppenheimer is rated R for nudity and some sensuality, because God forbid modern Hollywood make a movie without some unnecessary sex scenes. At least, I assume they’re unnecessary. When was the last time sex furthered the plot in your own life? I’ll wait. 

As if that’s not troubling enough, Pugh plays Oppenheimer’s wife or girlfriend or something, apparently. Pugh is 27. Murphy is 47. I’m no physicist, but I know an age gap when I see one, sir.

It’s giving patriarchy. 

By focusing the entirety of the Oppenheimer movie on its titular subject (assuming that’s what he does), Nolan fails to take into account the historic downsides of detonating the atomic bomb. Talk about letting America off the hook!

He also fails to show how fun and cool science can really be, squandering an opportunity to inspire a new generation of bright, curious minds to join forces with the American military industrial complex. That’s a more depressing thought than anything that happens in the movie itself, I bet. 

And so, in the summer of 2023, these are our choices: you can either see Nolan’s anti-science, American military propaganda or Greta Gerwig’s glorification of unrealistic body standards (haven’t seen Barbie either). 

Please do better, Mr. Nolan. One star. Would not recommend.